Saturday, June 5, 2010

June 5th, 2010

I just thought I could share a little about myself. 




I work two jobs, have one darling [almost] 14 month old, and a wonderful husband in the military. 
Tomorrow he leaves for two weeks. And it seems like forever to me.

Last year he left for 8+ months and I saw him 3 days out of that.. Not to mention he saw our daughter 3 days out of the 8+ months. 

Before he left, I went in for a 6 week check up. My doctor found something weird, took a biopsy. My husband left a week ago knowing nothing. I had no answers for him. When he left, we were not able to contact each other [he went to his training] I will never forget the conversation I had with him one of the first times I got to talk to him. I put Baby C down on a blanket and sat in her rocking chair and told him what the doctors had found out, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 pre-cancer. 

Being in the Army, you do not cry.  We were on the phone 3 or 4 minutes and he got off saying, "I've gotta go. I love you. Bye." I could hear the tears being choked back. 

Our daughter was 8 weeks old at that point. I was going back and forth between doctors trying to find the best thing to do. Worried that I would never be able to see my child turn one, say I love you, or worst of all, never see my husband again -- we opted for surgery. 
I had surgery when our daughter was 12 weeks old. I will never forget that morning. It was a Friday. My mom, dad, and daughter went with me. The hardest thing I ever had to do was lay in that bed getting prepped for surgery, not knowing if I would come out of it to see my baby wake up for the morning. She wore a purple sleeper that had green prince charming frogs on it. She laid in her stroller as I kissed her good-bye and I will see you later. 

The surgery went very good. I am healed and it is in Stage 1. I do not talk about my surgery or the time that I was alone because it isn't easy to think about. 
Although I made it and I am now stronger than ever, with my husband leaving again tomorrow makes me worry that bad news will happen again. I do not think that it will, however, it is in the back of my mind of what happened last time he left. 







2 comments:

  1. It is wonderful to hear you talk about your surgery. I remember going through my cancer and surgery with my mom and son and all of the things that I thought at the time too... Thursday we got news that pretty much rocked our world... It has been 14 months since my surgery and my body still hasn't healed... Something that usually only takes 6 weeks to 4 months still isn't healed for me... We find out soon if this means the cancer is back and spreading, so please keep me and my husband and son in your prayers.

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  2. It's hard to talk about and no one really says anything about it to me. I just keep to myself. One day I may talk more about it but its hard. I was a new mom, wife, and then diagnosed with that .. I still am baffled at times. I always said, "not me" but it was.

    I'm so sorry to hear sweetie .. I will for sure be saying prayers for you. Let me know how everything goes.

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:)